BOGART, Ga. (BP) — In a society that too often highlights the faults of fathers, Southern Baptist author and pastor Josh Smith encourages churches this Father’s Day to empower and remind them of the gift of fatherhood.

As a father of five, Smith tries to display the joy of fatherhood to his own children, and he wants dads sitting in his church to feel and display that same sense of joy.

“There was a season when a lot of our talk to fathers was really critical, about how much we’re failing, how bad of a job we’re doing,” said Smith, senior pastor of Prince Avenue Baptist Church in Bogart, Ga., and author of “The Titus Ten: Foundations for Godly Manhood.”

“The problem is, I think most fathers already feel that way,” he added. “Most dads already feel like they’re probably not doing a great job. …They feel a little discouraged and defeated. So, I try to speak in a way that is encouraging, affirming and a blessing to fathers.”

‘The greatest gift a father can give’

“Everything flows out of the kind of man you are, “ he said, “because you can’t fake it.”

As to what character qualities should be most prominent in a father’s life, Smith was clear: “I often say that the greatest gift a father can give his kids is their own personal walk with Jesus Christ,” Smith said. Integrity, moral purity, a father’s love for his wife — these qualities matter greatly, but they grow out of a father’s “intimate walk” with his heavenly Father.

“You can read all the books on parenthood you want to,” Smith said, “but none of those will take place without an authentic relationship with Jesus Christ.

“What I want my kids to experience is the life of God flowing through me,” he added.

This is key, especially because the lessons a father needs to teach his children are more often caught than taught. It was true, at least, in Smith’s relationship with his own father, the late evangelist and former Southern Baptist Convention (SBC) president Bailey Smith.

“The things I remember most about my father were things I watched in his life,” he said. “He was a very generous man. He was a very bold man. He was very courageous. He had strong convictions. …I remember what kind of man he was, and that seems to be the most important.”

Setting priorities in a busy age

Smith said his father also displayed characteristics that would greatly help fathers amid the busyness of the 21st-century: intentionality and the willingness to set priorities in family life. Families today are over-committed and fathers must be the ones to press the brakes on feverish activity and refocus their families on what matters most.

“What an amazing thing it would be for a kid to hear dad say, ‘This semester, we’re going to get a little more involved in church,’ (or) ‘This semester, we’re going to have three family meals together a week,’” said Smith.

Though it may sometimes be hard for fathers to initiate these “clear conversations” and set “clear priorities,” he added, fathers will likely find that their families appreciate their “thoughtfulness.”

Fathers in the faith

The apostle Paul called his young mentors in ministry, Timothy and Titus, sons in the faith. Even so, Smith said churches can offer young men a chance to be mentored by older men in the church — that is, giving younger men a chance to have their own fathers in the faith.

“We have about 500 college students in our church during the school year and what they’re asking for most is relationships with older men,” Smith said. “A younger generation of men is hungry for relationships with older men. What’s interesting is that older men in the church feel increasingly disconnected or not useful.”

This provides a perfect opportunity to encourage spiritually-fruitful relationships between “fathers” and “sons” in the faith. Smith encourages churches to find ways to build these connections, though he believes it can be helpful for young men to take the initiative.

Smith’s church creates an environment for such mentorship by hosting multi-generational groups. In this context, he has seen firsthand what younger men can gain from their fathers in the faith.

“I was in a group recently where a guy said he lost his job, and he just felt like he had lost his whole identity. His whole life was crumbling. He was losing everything,” Smith recalled. “An older man said, ‘Hey, let’s meet after this and talk. I went through that exact situation when I was your age, and here’s how the Lord used it in my life.’

“So, here’s a young man who thinks he’s alone in a struggle, when the reality is there are a lot of other men who have had that same struggle. Younger men, knowing they’re not alone and having someone who would shepherd them and coach them through it, is a great benefit.”

(EDITOR’S NOTE — Ben Hawkins is associate editor of The Pathway, news journal of the Missouri Baptist Convention.)